So, I started my day by visiting my regular doctor for that coveted annual female exam. And for the first time, I had to answer a form provided by Medicare as part of their Wellness Program.
First question: Are you depressed? And I thought, hmmm, I might be depressed, I dunno. I’ve got this dialysis thing that I try to play down as a trivial little routine I do, but it gets kind of adventurous when your blood pressure crashes right before you are finished and to remedy that problem, they add back some of the fluid you were trying to take off, so that you leave dialysis heavier than your goal and you know that you’ll have to have even more fluid removed next time, but you will crash because you are having too much fluid taken off, and – etc., etc., etc. That might be a little depressing. So. . . . . .
No. I’m not depressed.
Next question: Do you need help handling your money? Well, I could use some more money so that I could actually handle my money before pissing it away on bills and more bills.
No. I don’t need help handling my money.
Several more questions later, and I feel depressed and elderly, which makes me feel more depressed, but I persevere and finish the questionnaire.
My doctor says I’m doing great and does the ultimate test and we’ll wait for the results, and lately my test results have had things in them that I would rather not have and we’ll have to do more tests to see where things are going. (And then I pause to think about that stupid are you depressed question.
And then I go to my pitiful job that’s not a real job, in that I’m paid minimum wage, I have a dog at my feet and two cats wandering around my keyboard, and kitty and doggy treats next to my pens and sticky notes. And at closing time, I am told they can’t afford me and I’m laid off!!!
Now back to those two questions. I think I’ve changed my mind.
