Friendship is such a powerful thing. Do you ever think about it? Do you think about who your best friend is? Do you have one main special friend or several?
I have four friends that came together as an informal spontaneous "support" group. It started more than 30 years ago, when I was working two jobs to help ends meet and raising my two sons alone. I cleaned houses as a second job – I cleaned four police officers' homes and one of them was one of the first women on the Spokane Police Department. She is integral to this story because we all were brought together by her: She has a sister, and then an ex-sister-in-law (ditched the husband but kept his sister), and then her best friend whom she met while they were attending Alcoholics Anonymous for Spouses, and then me, her part time house keeper. (She hates when I introduce myself that way!)
We met because we all were single mothers; we were all around the same age (I'm the baby); our children were around the same age; and we were in-between relationships. We have religiously met for dinner once a month, and rotate who picks the dinner. We have individually only missed a dinner for whatever reason keeps us away, however, the group itself has NEVER missed a dinner in all these 30+ years.
We were front page news (well, Section C front page) of the Spokesman Review in 1992, where we were crowned "The Diners' Club" by the S-R writer, Rebecca Nappi. Thank you, Becky! The most amazing thing was the number of MEN who read and commented on our ariticle! {smile}
We are alike.
We are different.
We have been at each others' weddings and held each other through divorces; we have gone through teenage traumas with each of our children, together; we have taken on the ailments that pester people as they get older and we do it with aplomb and humor; we have supported our children in their struggles stepping into adulthood; we have survived all of our parents and now are 50-60-ish orphans. We cry on each others' shoulders, rant and rave about whoever is wronging us, share deep and private secrets that go no further than the table we are sitting at, laugh and giggle, weep, cry, commiserate, sympathize, and empathize – sometimes all of this several times in a two-hour period.
We started a "mad money" pot several years ago where we would pitch in $10 a month to fund something, anything, to get out of Dodge for a night or two. Our "mad money" pot has paid airfare, hotel, and food on two trips to Seattle, one trip to Yakima for the Spirit of Seattle dinner train that was stationed there (before it moved to Seattle); we spent a Christmas night in Coeur d'Alene overlooking the lake, with Santa's Village visible on the other side; another Christmas in Sandpoint for an absolutely magical snowy Christmas. We have a group Christmas card that got started in the mid-80s that we pass around on a rotational basis and we each take turns summarizing the year we have just finished; we have had pages added to it; I finally scrounged card shops for a new envelope to replace the frayed one. We each have had the card during a year that invariably is one of transition – literally – where the Keeper Of The Card is moving to another house and at the same time tries dutifully to keep in mind which box has "The Card." I personally would hyperventilate over it for 365 days until I handed it over to the next person at our Christmas brunch, with a huge sigh of relief that I didn't lose it. (Or throw it away.)
Our best trip by far was to Disneyland – twice. We saved enough to pay for several days in the Park. Our first trip, we piled into a taxi at the LA airport, five of us "old" ladies chattering and giggling at once and the driver fell in love with us. He happened to be going off duty for the weekend, but he "adopted" us and became our driver for the weekend. He got our plane schedule and then faithfully picked us up at 6:00 in the morning, took us to breakfast, drove us to the Park, told us to meet him here at this spot at 1:00 to take us back to the hotel for our "naps" and then drove us back to the Park for the rest of the day, picking us up at 11:00 at night and delivering us back to the hotel, watching us c-r-a-w-l up the steps to our room, only to start it all over again the next day. He figured out that our plane left at 5:00 in the evening and calculated how many play hours we could spend at the Park, and he picked us up and delivered us to the airport in plenty of time for our plane ride home. Thank you, John!!!!
We have talked about everything you can imagine from men, to menopause, to teens, to men, to independent women, to old age, to men, to ….. hmmm, well, MEN. We have all been through serious illnesses and without the support of each other, we would have flailed cluelessly through it all. One of us is a breast cancer survivor, one of us has Lupus; one of us has kidney disease; one of us has been diagnosed with Parkinson's. We hold each other up, lift each other up, and brighten each other's lives. I don't know what I would do without these four women in my life.
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
6.17.2008
4.17.2008
Does Hillary Clinton Exemplify Women Today?
Question: Does Hillary Clinton Exemplify Women Today?
Absolutely not. Most women my age have moved past Junior High and no longer participate in girlish antics of gossiping, whispering, badgering, lying, brow beating, haggling, sniveling bratty behavior. Hillary Clinton does not represent the average woman!
I am a middle class, college educated, single woman in my late 50s. I am four years younger than Ms. Clinton, so we are kind of like sisters – of the same generation. I clean my house, fix meals, wash dishes, take care of my own clothes, run errands, put out familial fires regarding my adult sons, change my own flat tires, work for three attorneys and their paralegals, manage bills, have a growing 401(k) plan, paid off my house and my car, volunteer for different projects, and I am a caregiver for my bed-ridden mother-in-law when I'm not at my real job. I have no body guard, no limo driver, and I don't care to take apart Obama's speeches because I agree with him – that the elitist people, like Ms. Clinton herself, are NOT listening to me! And there she goes again, being juvenile and being the pot calling the kettle black.
I came into adulthood in the middle of the so-called "feminist movement." I vividly remember the company I worked for having a fashion show the summer of 1968, on pantsuits. Until then, women wore dresses or skirts. Most women got married and had children and then thought about having careers; but the standard of the day was still having the wife/mother stay at home and the hubby was the breadwinner. Very few women opted to have careers first and then start families after they were established. Ten years later, I was a newly divorced, single mother of two toddler boys, trying to earn enough to support us and make a go of a new stage in my life – that of a single woman in a work force predominated by males. Now, thirty years later, I am a fairly well paid secretary with a substantial financial package to enable me to retire comfortably in about six years. Through these years, I have gone from a daughter and then a submissive wife, to a struggling single Mom continuously trying to make ends meet, to an independent, successful woman with some smarts, talent, and wisdom.
More and more women are going into careers that were once male dominated. More women are becoming doctors, lawyers, firemen, police officers – and are just as successful as their male counterparts. It is therefore a natural course of events to have a woman run for president. The country seems riveted on the fact that we have a first-time deal here: a woman running for president for the first time, and a black man running for president for the first time. However, the criteria for being president shouldn't be because the nominee was a first time record breaker for any category. I think someone running for president should have a couple "running for president" periods under the belt before they actually get the Gold Crown Award.
The women who are my friends and co-workers today are focusing on their families, as they leave the nest, as they bring back little chicks of their own. We are focusing on our lives as wives, friends, mothers and maybe early retirement if the economy would just slow down to a low roar. We watch world events with great interest and concern. We do not engage in petty bickering and sniveling – we are problem solvers and goal setters.
I don't have the time or patience for Hillary Clinton. I want Change. I want Compassion. I want Leadership!
.
Absolutely not. Most women my age have moved past Junior High and no longer participate in girlish antics of gossiping, whispering, badgering, lying, brow beating, haggling, sniveling bratty behavior. Hillary Clinton does not represent the average woman!
I am a middle class, college educated, single woman in my late 50s. I am four years younger than Ms. Clinton, so we are kind of like sisters – of the same generation. I clean my house, fix meals, wash dishes, take care of my own clothes, run errands, put out familial fires regarding my adult sons, change my own flat tires, work for three attorneys and their paralegals, manage bills, have a growing 401(k) plan, paid off my house and my car, volunteer for different projects, and I am a caregiver for my bed-ridden mother-in-law when I'm not at my real job. I have no body guard, no limo driver, and I don't care to take apart Obama's speeches because I agree with him – that the elitist people, like Ms. Clinton herself, are NOT listening to me! And there she goes again, being juvenile and being the pot calling the kettle black.
I came into adulthood in the middle of the so-called "feminist movement." I vividly remember the company I worked for having a fashion show the summer of 1968, on pantsuits. Until then, women wore dresses or skirts. Most women got married and had children and then thought about having careers; but the standard of the day was still having the wife/mother stay at home and the hubby was the breadwinner. Very few women opted to have careers first and then start families after they were established. Ten years later, I was a newly divorced, single mother of two toddler boys, trying to earn enough to support us and make a go of a new stage in my life – that of a single woman in a work force predominated by males. Now, thirty years later, I am a fairly well paid secretary with a substantial financial package to enable me to retire comfortably in about six years. Through these years, I have gone from a daughter and then a submissive wife, to a struggling single Mom continuously trying to make ends meet, to an independent, successful woman with some smarts, talent, and wisdom.
More and more women are going into careers that were once male dominated. More women are becoming doctors, lawyers, firemen, police officers – and are just as successful as their male counterparts. It is therefore a natural course of events to have a woman run for president. The country seems riveted on the fact that we have a first-time deal here: a woman running for president for the first time, and a black man running for president for the first time. However, the criteria for being president shouldn't be because the nominee was a first time record breaker for any category. I think someone running for president should have a couple "running for president" periods under the belt before they actually get the Gold Crown Award.
The women who are my friends and co-workers today are focusing on their families, as they leave the nest, as they bring back little chicks of their own. We are focusing on our lives as wives, friends, mothers and maybe early retirement if the economy would just slow down to a low roar. We watch world events with great interest and concern. We do not engage in petty bickering and sniveling – we are problem solvers and goal setters.
I don't have the time or patience for Hillary Clinton. I want Change. I want Compassion. I want Leadership!
.
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